Richard Rohr’s topic for meditations this week is “Eucharist”. Sore spot with me. My decision to dissociate myself for Catholic worship came as a result of the Church’s teaching about exclusivity, that is, only Catholics (in good standing) can receive. Many priests offer a blessing if someone comes forward and holds their hands over their heart. Sounds to me like a way for people too embarrassed to sit in their pews so they are less noticed and perhaps less likely to be judged. When I go to a Catholic funeral or wedding, I wait and listen for the priest to either tell people that they cannot receive or refrain from saying anything. I will go up for communion if nothing is said.
Going to communion is one way to show my oneness with the those I am there for, either in death or marriage or any other celebration. If the bond is really close, such as a relative, I may go even if the priest is exclusive. The relationship takes precedence over my stubborn need to make a statement (as though anyone is watching).
Refraining is a way to show oneness with those others who are being excluded. If I go forward for the blessing I feel it still violates the oneness I feel with them. I was at funeral recently and sat next to a woman who is not Catholic but I know her to be very pious. She appreciated the invitation to blessing and I could see by the look on her face that she was indeed blessed. I sat there angry as hell because I think she should have been able to take the bread. Holy of me, huh!
Before I end I have to mention that technically I am not worthy to receive the Eucharist, Catholic or not. I am not practicing faith. I am what some in the Church would call “fallen away.” I don’t feel fallen away. I feel that I have veered to another path where I have found community and other practices that feed my soul. Going to a Catholic mass is like coming home to visit. I am still a member of the family whether other members agree or not. I enjoy the rituals and words as they stir those sacred moments I remember from my childhood. Because I continue to see myself as part of the Catholic family, I maintain the right to have an opinion and the right to eat at the table if I so choose.
In my opinion, too much control is given to the Catholic church with regards to our personal walk with God. I figured that out in high school when I made note of the many flaws. For instance; given a booklet during the mass that contains what the bible verse will be, what your repetitive responses should be; no bibles in the pews; a confessional that requires you to sit and tell a priest all your sins, so that he can absolve you for them; and the whole mass process is too ritualistic. I go to church to be fed and fulfilled. Nothing about the Catholic Mass promotes that for me. The icing on the cake was when my sister and I were planning my mom’s funeral. I had chosen some scripture verses to be read during the service. I was told by the priest that we were only allowed 2 verses; one from the old testament and one from the new. When I challenged him about it, he replied that it was the ‘rule’ and could not be wavered. Jesus would have wept.
My history and feelings about this are right in sync with yours!
I’m in total agreement with you!
I think Jesus would invite everyone. Sad that is so controlling.