Caucus Night

A long story but one that must be told. I was once told, “You are only as sick as your secrets.”

I actually like going to caucuses. It is the only time of year I see my neighbors, some of them anyway. This year I was especially excited to go because I have this blog and I thought I could get political, like my friend Mary.<

Well, I was especially early because I didn’t really know when the caucus started, but I saw a few cars out front of the middle school and the lights were on. I walked in cheery and put my sarcastic hat on because that is what most people who go to caucuses expect. I marched over to the table that had a sign “Two Rivers Township” on it and sat myself down. I had three proposals to make. I’d gotten the format for two of them in an e-mail, so that was easy. For the third I didn’t know what to do, but I figured someone else would know.

After a while my table filled up with folks who live not far from me. There was a list of names in the packet, which I picked up by the way. I was proud of myself for taking such bold leadership. My name wasn’t on the list, but I couldn’t quite remember if I’d been to the last caucus so I let that slide. We had ducky fun getting acquainted. A guy brought his 16 year old daughter and I spoke with authority about what a caucus is all about. I showed her my proposals and said, “Just think. We actually have a hand here in shaping the party’s platform.” Her dad said, “They really don’t care about what we write but it makes us feel better to think so.” I wanted to hit him upside the head.

Then I took the responsibility to have everyone sign this sheet of paper with enough lines for 20 names. The speaker told us we could have another sheet if there were more than 20 voters at our township table. We had three. The 16 year old wasn’t eligible. I brought the sheet up to the head table and got the voting ballets, came back to the table and we all voted for the candidates of our choice and slipped them into the appropriate envelopes. These I dutifully and proudly delivered to the proper authorities. Then I returned to my Two Rivers fellow-citizens and set out to write the proposals. As I mentioned, I had the wording for two. For the third, I approached our former representative who was sitting at the table behind us. He just asked me, “What do you want?” I said, “I want you to tell me how to write this thing.” He said, “I mean, what do you want to tell the party in your proposal?” The man is a teacher. I told him what I wanted and he said, “Just write that. They will get it.” “You mean I don’t need all those fancy words to make a proposal?” He said, “Nope.” Since he had served in the Minnesota House, I figured he’d know.

I returned to my table and began writing. A man approached and said, “Are you Judy Jeub?” “”Yes,” I said. He looked familiar. “I think you belong in Swan River Township. “Oh no!” I said. I just voted in the wrong place. My name is now in two townships. What am I going to do?”

I said goodbye to my new friends from Two Rivers and moved over to my old friends from Swan River. “I actually live on the boarder,” I said. “My neighbor to the south who shares our driveway lives in Two Rivers. A really easy mistake to make, don’t you think?”  I checked myself in on the list that clearly had my name. “I only voted once, though. So I think I am okay, right?” I walked over to the former rep who helped me with the proposal. He said, “We just may see your face in the Post Office for Voter Fraud. It will be a black mark on the party.” I think he was kidding, but just in case, I ran to the head table and the folks there helped me retreive one of the many wrong places I’d written my name. I looked over at the former representative and remembered that I had done door-to-door campaigning for him. I suspect he now knows why he lost in the last election.

My vote was submitted in Two Rivers Township, only once, in case the cops come asking. My proposals were submitted in Swan River Township. With unanamous support!