“You look…”

Written yesterday:

I woke up this morning to the thought: “What am I to wear and, oh my god, my hair!” God is not responsible for my hair, I realize, except for its color. I am the one who chose to let it grow long and I am the one who rips it to shreds with “ponies”, as my granddaughter calls those things that are like rubber bands. Recently, a friend told me that she likes my hair when I wear it down. “Are you kidding?” I told her. “I look like a witch.” “No you don’t,” she said even though I knew she didn’t believe her own words.

Bernie and I are going to the retirement party of a man he once worked with and whose friendship he enjoyed. What dawned on me in my waking fog is that the guests will be coming from the work place, which means business suits and skirts with crisp blouses or dark dresses. I recently went through my clothes and threw away any item I have not worn in a year. As far as dressy goes, there are in my closet: a dress I bought 15 years ago in Guatemala and two East Indian wrap-around skirts that look like they are tie-died and match absolutely nothing else in my closet. Bernie had the foresight to save one suit, one dress shirt and one tie. Me, I never expected to be invited to an affair that might demand I look like a…female person.

I have already put curlers in my hair. You won’t believe what I look like right now…nor get a chance to see. I will be mending one of the two aforementioned skirts. I have a sweater that sort of matches it. I will wear the lovely necklace that my daughter-in-law had made for me that has a tree on it with branches with little stones representing each of my family members. It may be a nice conversation starter…and a visual distraction. After I get through this event, I plan go to shopping. I won’t be caught unprepared again.

Later: The outfit worked though I didn’t remember how the skirt opens up on the legs whenever you go from sitting to standing or vise-versa. I knew I would have to pay attention to that. The hair, on the other hand. Yikes! It looked sort of nice when I first took the curlers out, but it was only a matter of minutes before these nice soft loops fell straight. What became of the bouncy body my hair used to have? Bernie joked…he said that sagging is what is happening to our whole bodies. I decided to put some curlers back in my hair for the drive down to the cities. I looked like George Washington with his wig. At one point when we were pulling into a gas station, Bernie said, “You look…” then he looked at me and stopped. “You were going to say that I look very nice, weren’t you? And then you actually looked over at me and had to stop yourself.” He laughed. “And I didn’t chop down the cherry tree, either.”

PS. I wore big triple loopy earrings because crones wear earrings and witches do not.