Sharing Pain

It is difficult to write a blog when one is in the middle of problems. This is when writing in my personal journal is my salvation. I have always been inclined to tell people about how I found my way out of a bad situation, but always from the viewpoint of a survivor, never from the viewpoint of one still drowning. To talk about pain when I am in it was a luxury I never allowed myself. I don’t know why this was true. I suspect shame may have been at the root of it. It wasn’t until the last ten plus years of my life that I was able to break thought this fear of sharing my weak self. This new ability has changed my life. I know that I do not have to share my pain with everybody, but it is important to share it with someone who I trust and God has given me such people that I know will always listen to me with love.

I believe that the love these supportive friends have shown to me is the love of God for me. I am not saying it is like God’s love, it is precisely how it is that God loves me. It is as though God pours love into them and they in turn pour it out to me. It is through them that I have come to believe how loved I am.

I’ve shared on previous blogs my practice of reading little books of reflections each morning. This morning I was comforted by this piece from a Food for Thought.

God never forsakes us; we forsake Him. We become so involved in our concerns and activities that we forget to open our eyes and our hearts to His presence…If our Higher Power is not at the center of our lives, we will find it difficult (if not impossible) to be emotionally abstinent…
Without His control, we lose our serenity. There will always be cause of conflict and frustrations in our daily lives. How we handle these situations depends on our spiritual condition.
By ourselves, we cannot manage our own lives. Our behavior can be insane. It is through the Power greater than ourselves that we are led into order, sanity, and recovery. To stay with this Power is our salvation.