Time Juggler

After Retreat2Write,  I committed to write every day. It was a pretty hallow commitment it seems. In the month since then, I have written one blog and put in about 2 hours of other writing. I struggle to know exactly what my problem is.

At the beginning of each week, I write a schedule for myself. On each day of the calendar, I enter commitments such as doctor’s appointments, exercise classes, regular meetings, and any social plans such as lunch with a friend or a grandchild’s sports event.  Then I enter any weekly chores. For example, Mondays is for laundry and if I am going to do any cleaning, I try to do that on Fridays. I try to run errands when I am running to town for other things. Yesterday, I was in Little Falls for a meeting and an exercise class, so I went to the library, go my flu shot, stopped at Aldi’s for a couple of sales in their produce section, and dropped a book off at a friend’s house. It was a long day. I was too tired to write when I got home. I always take a nap and still start to fizzle around 5pm.

As I ponder my problem of not finding time to write, I ask myself if I am simply putting too much on my calendar. Perhaps I need to prioritize differently. Should I skip my exercise classes, designed to keep me moving along with other seniors. I sort of hate exercise so this would be an easy switch for me. But I have learned from experience that my body pays dearly when I don’t exercise and I am more likely to exercise when it is structured like on timed classes. Besides, I like the other older folks who exercise with me. We talk about our lives and laugh a lot.

In addition to all the aforementioned activity that fills my calendar, I have a list of things that need my attention at some point. Balance my checkbook was on that list and I did that this morning only to find myself $20 off on my figures. I set it aside for Bernie to look at. Other things on my list include preparations for book sales events, fulfilling duties for a a service group to which I belong, finishing a baby blanket, updating my web page, getting the pictures out of my phone, calling my brother, signing up for a class, and having my daughter change the protection program for my computer. I wish I could just check one of these tasks off each day, but two a week is about all I can manage.

I was complaining to a friend the other day and she said, “In addition, you have a very active household.” This is true and I hadn’t even included that. You would think that my husband plus a daughter living in our basement. That’s three people with three different schedules overlapping one another. Add to that the many family events that show up on the calendar, having family members come here for an event or we going to see them. Of course, everyone has this. We just have a particularly big family.

Waaah, waaah, waaah. I know. I suspect many readers gave up two paragraphs ago.

I suppose the answer to my problem is to change my expectations. I think that is what Buddha would say. I mean, I don’t really have to write a blog or another book, do I? I know that life is fragile. I have to be careful thinking I know what it is God put me on the earth to do. Maybe God put me here to be a time-juggler. Maybe others will feel my pain because it is their’s, too, the pain of dreams unmet. Maybe I am here to be a comfort to them.

I have been to many memorial services in my 74 years. I wonder if friends and family who have died get to hang around and listen to all that is said about them. Without exception, people always say nice things about their loved ones. You never hear them talk about the things they didn’t accomplish. “She left right in the middle of doing the ironing.” “He never finished remodeling the kitchen.” “She only completed half of her education.” “He died before he could get the hole-in-one he always dreamed about.” I guess those things aren’t that important to the One who is Master over life and death, nor is it important to those who are left behind.

Well, no answers today. If I finish this post, I can say that today I wrote. And if Bernie figures out the problem with my checkbook, than I can cross off one more thing on my list. When I comes to success, it is all about perspective.

4 thoughts on “Time Juggler”

  1. Oh my, Judy, I think you were writing about me! Quilting is to me like writing is to you. I would love to spend a couple of hours everyday sewing, but something always gets in my way. I relish the empty days on my calendar thinking I’ll be able to sew all day, BUT there is are phone calls to be made, emails to answer, Tom needs me for something, etc, etc. Finally at 3:00 in the afternoon, I have time to spend in my studio which gets interrupted by having to make supper!!
    So, I totally understand what you are saying! Oh yes, about the exercise – don’t give it up. I know how to find excuses too! So much easier not to go.

  2. Well put Judy! I truly don’t mean to offend, but I can’t help but giggle reading this ! I too can get caught up in being organized and getting things done. Then I remember to just “be”.

    1. Mystics would say that the moment you remember to just be is “waking up”. It sometimes feels that way when it happens to me. I sometimes laugh when it happens.

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